Getting a Front-Row Seat

If there is one thing I have come to appreciate more and more about homeschooling, it is this:I get to know my kids.

Not just their grades. Not just whether they are reading at the “right” level or keeping up with the curriculum.I get to know them.I get a front-row seat to who they are becoming. And honestly, I think that is one of the greatest gifts of homeschooling.

It can be easy to get caught up in curriculum, schedules, lesson plans, and trying to make sure we’re “covering everything.” I’ve had plenty of days where I was so focused on getting through the day’s schoolwork that I forgot to step back and simply watch my kids.

But when I slow down and pay attention, I see things I might otherwise miss. I see what makes them light up, what frustrates them, what comes naturally and what takes extra effort. I see how they respond when something is hard. I see their interests, their personalities, their gifts, and yes, their weaknesses. And the more I know them, the better I can teach them.

Get to Know Their Strengths

One of my favorite things about homeschooling is getting to discover what makes each of my children unique. Every child is different. One may love reading while another would rather build something with their hands. One may naturally understand math while another can tell you every detail about an animal they’ve been interested in for the past six months. One may be a natural leader. Another may quietly notice things everyone else misses. Another may have a creative gift that doesn’t always show up on a worksheet. As moms, I think we can sometimes get so focused on the things our children aren’t doing well that we forget to celebrate the things they are doing well.

Of course, our children need to grow in areas of weakness. But what if we also made it a priority to notice their strengths? What makes them come alive? What do they do without being asked? What kinds of things do they naturally gravitate toward? What seems to come easily to them? Those things are worth paying attention to.

I believe God has uniquely created each of our children, and part of our job as moms is to help them discover how He has wired them. Sometimes that means giving them room to explore something they’re naturally good at instead of constantly pushing them toward whatever they’re struggling with.

Get to Know Their Weaknesses, Too

Of course, knowing our kids means knowing the hard stuff, too. And believe me, homeschooling gives you plenty of opportunities to see it. You will discover things about your children that you might never have noticed otherwise. Maybe one child becomes incredibly discouraged when they make a mistake. Think ‘melt down’ when they get an answer wrong. Maybe another shuts down when something doesn’t come easily. Maybe organization is a constant battle. And then there are the academic struggles, like reading or math.

Knowing these weaknesses isn’t about putting our kids in a box or deciding what they will never be good at. It’s about knowing where they need help that allows us to slow down when they need us to slow down. It allows us to explain something a different way. It allows us to encourage them when they’re ready to give up. And sometimes, it allows us to recognize that the problem isn’t that our child is lazy or incapable, they just learn differently.

As homeschool moms, we have the unique opportunity to see those things up close and respond with patience and grace. And if I’m honest, sometimes homeschooling gives me a front-row seat to my own weaknesses, too. Patience. Anyone else? Our children aren’t the only ones growing through this process. We joke in our house that when I started homeschooling I had zero patience, but now I have 0.0005% patience. So I’m growing 😊

Pay Attention to What They Love

Have you ever watched your child become completely obsessed with something?  They want to read every book about it. They have twenty questions. They want to build it, draw it, research it, talk about it, and tell you everything they have learned. Those moments are homeschool gold. Don’t overlook them, we have the freedom to follow those interests.

If your child loves animals, there are endless opportunities to learn biology, writing, reading, math, geography, and even entrepreneurship through that interest. If they love building, let them build. If they’re fascinated by space, spend an afternoon watching documentaries and looking at the stars. If they want to learn how to cook, let them into the kitchen. Not every interest needs to become a formal unit study. Sometimes it is enough to simply let your child wonder.

I have found that some of the best learning happens when my kids are genuinely curious about something. And those are the moments I don’t rush past just because they’re not written in the lesson plan.

Learn What Motivates Them

Here’s another thing I’ve learned:

What motivates one child may completely fail with another.

As moms, we sometimes assume that if something works for one child, it should work for the next. Then we’re surprised when it doesn’t. One child might be motivated by checking things off a list. Another could not care less about a checklist. One loves a challenge, but another becomes overwhelmed by competition.

Instead of asking, “Why won’t my child just do this?” I have found it can be more helpful to ask, “What is going on here?” Are they tired? Is the work too difficult? Is it too easy? Are they discouraged? Do they need a break? Do they need me to sit beside them? Do they need a little more independence?

Sometimes a behavior that looks like laziness is actually frustration.

Sometimes what looks like defiance is discouragement.

And sometimes, yes, our kids simply need to learn responsibility and do the work.

But because we’re there with them, we have the opportunity to figure out which is which.

Learn How They Learn

Not every child learns the same way. And sometimes we can mistakenly think our child isn’t learning when really, our teaching method just isn’t connecting with them. Some kid need that visual cue to really understand. I had another child that almost had a photographic memory, but was easily overstimulated. Maybe they need to touch it, build it, move it, draw it, or experience it. Some are just talkers, and others need the quiet time to learn. Homeschooling gives us that flexibility to adust to our different chilfrens learning styles. If you need help at all check out my Homeschool Course for a bunch of tips on this.

We can adjust.

We don’t have to force our child to fit perfectly into a system. If something isn’t working, we can try something else. We can read aloud, use manipulatives, watch a video, go outside, draw it, talk about it, take a break and come back to it tomorrow. We can change the curriculum, and yes, sometimes we can even say, “This isn’t working for us,” and move on. That isn’t failure.That’s knowing your child.

Stop Comparing Your Kids

This might be one of the hardest lessons for us as homeschool moms. Because once you start homeschooling, it can feel like there are a million ways to compare. “What grade is your child in?” “What curriculum are you using?” “Is your child reading yet?” “How far along are you in math?” And then we look at someone else’s homeschool and wonder why ours doesn’t look like theirs. But your child isn’t their child. And your homeschool doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Your kids are going to develop at different rates. They are going to have different strengths. They are going to struggle with different things. And they are going to need different things from you. I have learned that one of the greatest gifts I can give my children is the freedom to be themselves. My job isn’t to make them all the same. My job is to help each one grow into the person God created them to be.

Look Beyond the Grades

Yes, academics matter and we want our children to learn. We want them to read well, understand math, think critically, communicate clearly, and develop the skills they need for whatever God has planned for their future. But education is about so much more than academics. I want to know:

Is my child learning to persevere?

Are they learning to be responsible?

Can they admit when they’re wrong?

Are they learning how to treat their siblings?

Can they handle disappointment?

Are they learning to work hard when something isn’t fun?

Are they learning to serve others?

Are they growing in wisdom?

Are they learning to seek God?

Those things don’t always show up on a report card.

But they matter.

In fact, I would argue that some of the most important lessons our children learn happen in the moments that never make it onto a transcript.

Homeschooling Gives Us Time

I think time is one of the greatest advantages of homeschooling families. Time to notice, to listen, to ask questions, to slow down, time to figure out why something isn’t working, time to follow an interest, time to have the conversation that wasn’t part of the lesson plan. Time to know our kids.

We don’t have to squeeze everything into a perfectly structured school day. A conversation while driving. A question at the dinner table, a walk outside, a trip to the grocery store, a difficult sibling situation, a book before bed. These are all opportunities to teach and disciple our children, and sometimes those moments teach us just as more about our kids than the formal schoolwork does.

The Goal Isn’t Just to Teach Them

The older I get the more I realize that my job isn’t simply to fill my children’s heads with information. I want to help them understand who God created them to be, to help them discover their gifts, to encourage their curiosity, to teach them how to think and to help them develop character. But most importantly, I want to point them toward Christ. That is why knowing my children matters so much. I can’t disciple a child I don’t know.  And I can’t encourage a child in the way they need to be encouraged if I’m constantly trying to make them fit into someone else’s mold.

So, Mama, Pay Attention

If you’re in the trenches of homeschooling right now, I know it can be hard to see the bigger picture. Sometimes you’re just trying to get everyone through math without crying. Sometimes you’re wondering why the child who understood something perfectly yesterday has completely forgotten it today. Sometimes the laundry is piled up, the toddler is making a mess, someone can’t find their pencil, and you’re questioning every decision that brought you to this moment.

I’ve been there.

But right in the middle of all that ordinary, messy, beautiful homeschool life, something really special is happening. You are getting to know your children, who they are. You’re discovering what makes them laugh, what makes them frustrated and you’re watching them grow. You’re noticing gifts you might otherwise miss. You’re learning how to encourage them. And they’re learning that home is a safe place to ask questions, make mistakes, try again, and grow. That front-row seat is a gift. Don’t let the pressure to “get through the curriculum” make you miss it. Because years from now, you will not remember every worksheet you completed.

But you will remember the child sitting beside you. The questions they asked,  the things they loved, the struggles you worked through together, the books you read, the projects you did and the conversations you had. And all those ordinary moments when you realized, little by little, that you were getting to know the person your child was becoming.

That’s the gift of homeschooling.

Not just that we get to teach our children. But that we get to know them. And what a privilege that is.

Love Kay Jane